Curiosity killed the cat
by Kisaragi Anirzah
Summary: It's Valentine's day and the "Save the Earth" Comittee are having a field day! Poor, poor Sasuke, having to recycle every one of those horrible love letters. Hold on a Sec! Was that signed by Naruto? o.O
1. Naruto's WEIRD Letter

Curiosity killed the Cat

Kisa: YAHOOEY!! My second fic! 0 It's my first Naruto fic though... So  
please be nice? Pwetty please??? stares with big puppy eyes

Hazel (Kite): I wanna do the disclaimer!

Kisa: NO! ME ME ME!!!

Kite: I'm the chairman of the class!

Kisa: I'm the Head of Management!

dust cloud appears as they both fight

Hitsu: Sweat drop Fine. I'll do the disclaimer instead! We do not own Naruto, (though we seriously wish it), Britney Spears and all those other stuff.

Uchiha Sasuke is not a person to be trifled with. Thousands quiver under his  
glare and unless you wish to admire your intestines in your last moments on  
Earth, you should stay clear of him.

However, the world's population of females does not seem to understand this.

Therefore, it was no miraculous wonder that there was a mountain of love  
letters on Sasuke's table on the fourteenth of February, each sealed with a  
loving kiss and sprayed with enough perfume to make giant holes in the ozone  
layer.

Sasuke sighed with more than a tinge of annoyance. To him, this day was not  
called 'Valentine's Day'. More like 'Paper Recycling Day'. Out of sheer  
politeness, he opened each and every letter and glanced through it during.  
It was all the same as every other year... Plenty of mushy words... Not to  
mention, some very obscene stuff sometimes...

Sasuke shuddered when he remembered Sakura's and Ino's letter. Wait...Just  
wait... Pause the fic... Was the last letter signed by Naruto or was he  
experiencing some eye problems? He reread the letter, as slow as a pregnant  
turtle.

Dear Sasuke:

Words really can't express just how much you mean to me, but here goes:  
You're such a Heavenly Guy and you always hang out with me when I'm down in  
the dumps. What more could I ask for?

Britney Spears has got nothing on you! You're truly the most wonderful person and if I had to choose between hanging out with you for an entire week and not eating five servings of ramen without you by my side, I'll run to your house in a heartbeat. I'll walk 6 miles in the pouring rain while an angry Iruka chase me just to get to see you.

I'd even tell Sakura-chan to take a flying leap if she ever said  
anything bad about you. Sound crazy? Nah. I know you've always got my back,  
too. You're the best!

XOXO,  
Naruto

This is just too weird for a dream... It is more like a nightmare in fact...  
Sasuke glanced at Narrator's seat, only to see him as red as a beetroot.  
Naruto was staring at feet as he fiddled his fingers in such a way that  
would make Hinata proud.

"He looks kinda adorable like tha... Whadda hell am I thinking?! And who is  
Britney Spears anyways?!?!?! And you, readers! Out! Out of my mind, NOW!"

Kisa: Ze end! To ze firz chaptar zat iz! Short izzit not? Zun fear! It'll  
get zonger in ze end!

Kite: Don't mind her...

(BTW: Kite's my friend! And Hitsu's her dragon.....I want one......sob)

Kisa: Oh ya nearly forgot, must review, ok? YAY!


	2. YUMMY! Chocs! Everybody's favourite!

**Curiosity killed the Cat (2) **– In which everyone goes YUMMY! (Okay, only Sasuke, but…)

Kisa: AHEM... I would like to introduce my temporary beta-reader aka my friend... (drumrolls) ... Yumi! n0n

Yumi: (waves hyperly and shouts loudly) HARLOE! WASSHUP! KESHA DOZEN OWN NARUTO! BUT SHE DOES OWN A PAJAMA WITH CUTE KITTIES ALL OVER! BWAHAHA! (runs away)

Kisa: (takes out a sword and chases after Yumi) Shaddup!

* * *

Sasuke stared at the letter in his hand with indescribable shock. A guy had sent him a Valentine Day's letter and, mind you, it was none other than NARUTO. Sasuke had a feeling of nausea and was just about to feel worse when… 

"Sasuke- kun! What are you looking at?" Sakura inquired merrily behind him. She snatched the letter from his hands and began reading the letter aloud.

"No… Someone… Wake me up from this nightmare!" Sasuke thought frantically. He briefly considered snatching the letter back from Sakura and yelling out strings after strings of colorful expressions but that would considerably lower his 'coolness' bar to a big, fat zero.

"D-dear…Sa-Sasuke…," Sakura struggled to read the letter.

"God! Sasuke- kun, you might wanna give a writing lesson to your adoring fans! I can't even make out what this ditzy girl's writing!" laughed Inner Sakura scornfully.

Now, let's take a look into Sasuke's brain, shall we? We see millions of mini- Sasukes running desperately here and there, some shouting," Argh! Warning! Danger coming at a speed of 99999999km/s!"

On the outside though, we see Sasuke as frozen as a mint choco-chip ice-cream dipped in chocolate sauce with nuts all over... Mmm… Yummy… (drools)

Ahem! Urmm… My point was… Sasuke didn't know how to react.

He was just about to contemplate suicide when...

"SASUKE-KUN! Oh, and Sakura..." Ino bounced (literally) over and sneered at Sakura. "Reading your letter aloud to Sasuke-kun? Oh that is so lame... But since when aren't you NOT lame?"

Sakura dropped the letter from her hands and glared at Ino. If looks could kill, Ino would have been dead and buried, speared alive with arrows sticking out at unnatural angles from her body, and with shards of glass impaled into her forcefully. "WELL, WELL... If it isn't the little Piglet from Winnie the Pooh... You're in the wrong series, Ino-pig..."

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU BIG FOREHEADED NERD!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, SNOUT-FACE?"

Sasuke pocketed the letter on the floor and immediately inched away from the cat-fight. No way was he going to be involved in this...

* * *

The school bell rang, signalling the end of school. The sun has set, and Sasuke was thankful he had lived the cat-fight to see another day. He had crossed a stream, climbed a mountain... Ah whatever! Insert a geographical metaphor here will you? Thanks a lot! 

The fight ended with neither girls winning. Iruka-sensei stopped them before they could cause any permanent damage on each other's faces, which would require intensive plastic surgery to disappear.

Sasuke muttered to himself, "At least Naruto didn't gave me any chocolates or whatever..."

Looks like he spoke too soon. When he was sorting the pile of chocolates on his doorstep, he came across something unique that he was sure came from Naruto – Ramen-shaped chocolates.

* * *

Kisa: How wazzit? I did write longer this time, didn't I? Praise me! n.n 

Yumi: (with a bandage on her head) WELL, REVIEW REVIEW! n0n THE MORE YOU REVIEW, THE BETTER KESHA CAN SLEEP IN HER PAJAMAS! HAHAHA! (runs away)

Kisa: (takes out her favourite sword, Furizanu, and chases after Yumi again)

Yumi: HEE HEE... NOW, WHERE CAN I FIND SOME MORE OF KESHA'S HYPER PILLS... n-n


End file.
